Avenger League: secret origins
by Kai zr64
Summary: A multi crossover parody of the Justice League: secret origins. Basically the first episode of the Justice League reenacted by heroes including Ness from Earthbound, Mysterion from South Park, Bartman from the Simpsons, and so much more. Hope you enjoy, rated T for minor coarse Language and violence
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything here

storyline, and most of the dialog belongs to DC comics

all characters in this story belong to their rightful owners

* * *

Ed Reece and Jay Allan Carter weren't the first astronauts to explore the asteroid belt, they were actuality the latest. "Would you look at that" said Carter "a little slice of heaven" "If your idea of heaven is a bunch of lifeless rocks everywhere" "you have the soul of a poet" "carter we didn't come here for the view our mission is purely scientific" their mission was to search for signs of life in the asteroid belt. "Find anything?" asked Reece "nope" replied carter "not a soul in sight" carter saw something strange move out from behind an asteroid "wait" he said. Carter flew the ship closer "amazing!" said Reece "must be some alien city" said Carter. It was indeed a city on top of a giant rock with rocket engines attached to the bottom of it. "What are we waiting for let's check it out" said Reece. Just as he said that a tractor beam began pulling them towards it. "Looks like they're welcoming us" said Carter "Are you kidding me!?" Reece yelled "who knows what they might do to us!" Carter was shocked.

* * *

Two years later

* * *

At the radar dish in South Park, Colorado Bartman was hiding there to investigate. "What are you doing here?" said a voice. Mysterion walked out of the shadows "long time no see Mysterion" said Bartman. They were standing just above a room with four scientists; three of them were named Al, Lee and Cynthia, the forth one said "remember barbeque at my place Saturday night and your all invited, Venus is rising early and you know what that means" "I'm there" said Lee "sounds great" said Al "See ya there" replied Cynthia "ha-ha" he laughed "you guys are animals, good night" and left. Al stood up and said "He's gone" he turned to Lee and said "let's get the thing" Lee walked over to a file cabinet and pushed it aside. Cynthia took out a sledge hammer and broke a hole into the wall behind it. She reached into the hole took out a grey metal box with a pig snout drawn onto it. "Here it is" she said carrying it in here arms "now let's go".

Bartman and Mysterion followed them to the top of the dish which was three metal ramps supporting the center where they spotted Cynthia planting a device. "I doubt that modification's legal" said Mysterion. Two spinning cables coiled themselves around Al and Lee tying them together. "Should've stuck to your desk jobs" said Bartman a fight broke out between Bartman and Cynthia. Cynthia punched Bartman in the stomach and tossed him aside like a ragdoll. Al took out a laser and used it to cut the chords. Mysterion ran up to them just as Lee pushed him off the edge of the ramp. Mysterion fired a grappling line and swung himself back up. "Need a hand?" asked Mint-berry Crunch hovering above them "thanks but I can handle it" said Mysterion "they don't look so tough" said Mint-berry Crunch. "Let's go!" shouted Al. As the three heroes began to chase after them, mint berry crunch stopped and groaned as telepathic images quickly flashed through his mind; one was a boy wearing a baseball cap standing next to a meteorite, another was a fat and chubby kid controlling a giant spider like machine. Al took out a remote pointed it too the center and pushed a button. Mysterion was at the center of the dish and found out what she had put there. "GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" he shouted. The three so called Scientists parachuted their way off the dish. Bartman carried Mint-Berry Crunch to the edge and jumped off, just as the bomb exploded. Bartman shot a grappling line to repel his way down. The force of the explosion sent the two heroes flying. After they landed Bartman saw the three land and disappear into the nearby forest. "What happened?" asked Mint-berry Crunch as he regained consciousness. "You tell me" answered Bartman. "I don't know…I was attacked by these images and…that's all I can remember" said Mint-berry Crunch "so what brings you to South Park?" "I've detected security breaches in the global deep space monitoring network, so by the looks of it someone doesn't want us looking out into the cosmos" "that's funny" said Mint-berry Crunch "I was looking for the rest of The Coon and Friends and Mysterion said they were abducted by strange, pig-like aliens" "coincidence?" asked Bartman holding a piece of cloth with a pig snout imprinted on it. "I'd love to stay and chat but I'm expected somewhere else" Mint-berry Crunch handed him a signal watch "call me if you need any help" he said, and flew off.

* * *

**more chapters coming soon**


	2. Chapter 2

storyline, and most of the dialog belongs to DC comics

all characters in this story belong to their rightful owners

* * *

At the United Nations, thousands of protesters were outside demanding that they stop making Atomic weapons. Inside the building the Japanese Ambassador was making a statement to disarm nuclear weapons. "Nonsense!" said General Wells "those weapons are our only defense against aggression" "No" stated Senator Carter "General Wells does not speak for our government" "But senator only a fool would…" "General, when I was an astronaut exploring the asteroid belt, I survived an experience that profoundly changed my life" said Carter cutting him off "looking down at earth, I realized how small and fragile our planet is. Its faith is in our hands. Today I propose a bold new solution for peace. One that would use a force dedicated to the good of all mankind. A force known to all, as Mint-Berry Crunch." Mint-Berry Crunch walked up to the podium. "With all due respect senator" said General Wells "we cannot entrust the security of the entire world to a kid!" "I understand your feelings General" said Mint-Berry Crunch "and when senator carter first approached me I was reluctant to get involved, but after meeting with him and his advisers, I was convinced that I could make a difference. I solemnly swear to you all that I will continue to uphold the ideals of truth and justice to all of you. Not just for America but for the whole world. Everyone applauded Mint-Berry Crunch in many languages.

"Good evening" said the reporter "this is Snapper Car reporting, Mint-Berry Crunch has been disarming thousands of deadly warheads around the world. Public support for the plan has swelled though some remain skeptical" "Hey the big guy's heart's in the right place but give me a break. I'm the Hero of Time" said a boy wearing a green tunic "and even I can't be in five places at once." "Most of us will sleep well knowing that Mint-Berry Crunch is watching over us." Bradley shut off the TV and propped a pillow behind his head. Before he could get any sleep, he was struck by the images again, this time they were different, it was the same kid who was in the spider machine, but it looked as though he had aged over a thousand years. Then a boy with blond hair who was standing in a sunflower field. Three islands where a dragon slept underneath.

Meanwhile in the South Park star lab, Mysterion was investigating and found another object with a pig snout imprinted on it. He then saw two of those who called themselves Al, Lee and Cynthia were walking out of another room "I guess our work here is done" said Al. after they left the building Mysterion entered the room and found three glass tanks, each containing a person floating in some kind of liquid. He broke open one of them, the man wasn't dead but unconscious. Mysterion was pushed away by an attack dog. He kicked the dog into a computer desk, and then it charged at him again. Mysterion made his way up just before the dog crashed leaving a dent in the wall. Mysterion took out another flash light and looked at the dog as it was climbing up the wall. It was armed with mechanical parts that reminded him of the terminator. The mecha-dog sent Mysterion flying through a wall, crashing into a heavy supply shelf. It toppled over, killing Mysterion.


	3. Chapter 3

A meteor crashed into South Park digging a trench through the city. After the fire was put out a giant… okay you know what, I'm not going through the details on this one, if you want to know what it looks like, look it up. Anyway an N. K. Cyborg came out of a hole in the meteorite and fired a beam from its mouth destroying everything it hit. Mint-Berry Crunch flew towards it but the N. K. Cyborg fired its beam again, propelling Mint-Berry Crunch into the wall of a building. The police fired continually, but the cyborg was shielded. "Whatever that thing is" said Mint-Berry Crunch "I've got to stop it" just as he said that two other N.K. Cyborgs came out of the meteorite. Mint-Berry Crunch saw images again; a boy wearing a dark grey helmet wielding a light saber, thousands of pink soldiers holding their arms out as if they were Nazis, and finally the kid wearing a baseball cap crystalized in his mind. Mint-Berry Crunch knew where to go.

"After hours of intense battling the heart of the city lies in ruin" said the reporter "as the devastation continues, the question on everyone's lips is 'where is Mint-Berry Crunch?' Meanwhile we've been getting reports that similar objects have landed elsewhere: including Springfield, Townsville, and more are arriving by the hour.

On the shores of New Hirule, Toon Link and Zelda were looking over the horizon. "Zelda" said Toon Link "what is it Link?" asked Zelda "I fear that mankind is facing its darkest hour" answered Toon Link "then let them face it alone" replied Zelda "you need to stay here and protect Hirule.

Meanwhile Bartman followed Mint-Berry Crunch to an old military base. He found Mint-Berry Crunch pounding through a large metal door "whoa there Crunch" informed Bartman "destroying government property isn't your style. What are you doing here?" "See for yourself" answered Mint-Berry Crunch before tossing the vault door aside. After walking through a computer lad they found two boys cuffed to the wall; one was wearing a baseball cap the other had blonde hair and was wearing a red and yellow striped shirt. "Who are they" asked Bartman "mankind's only hope" answered Mint-Berry Crunch. He taped a few buttons and the cuffs let loose. "They tried to reach me telepathically but the stasis field interfered." "What are they doing here?" asked Bartman "the pigmask army is back" said the blond haired kid "we came to warn you but we were captured and imprisoned here" explained the boy with the baseball cap. "I'm Ness and this is Lucas"

As they left the base they heard a voice come out from in front of them. "Stop right there Mint-Berry Crunch!" the voice sounded as if it came from a speaker. "Our orders are to keep those freaks here!" "I'll vouch for him, you must let us go" "I don't think so" "but the world's security may be at stake!" pleaded Mint-Berry Crunch. "That's why you'll leave here alive" said the pigmask as they walked out of the shadows.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay

this time I'll make the chapters longer

* * *

Back in New Hirule, Toon Link made his way to a pedestal where he found the master sword and the mirror shield. "Zelda" he said softly "forgive me"

Meanwhile back at the base. "It's them!" Lucas cried out. A pigmask army opened fire. Mint-Berry Crunch was blasted into a nearby tank. Lucas, Ness, and Bartman hid behind a jeep. "Stay down" said Bartman as he threw a grenade. "Behind you!" shouted Ness holding his arm out creating an energy shield protecting Bartman. "Get to safety!" said Mint-Berry Crunch holding up a tank "I'll hold them off." Lucas and Ness followed Bartman to the bartwing and took off. "That was a close" said Bartman "we're not safe yet" said Ness "look!" Pork runners flew out from the mountains and opened fire at the bartwing "What's with them and pigs?" questioned Bartman. Mint-Berry Crunch fought back but was blasted away. After a long chase, the bartwing was hit. Then they stopped falling. "what happened?" asked Bartman. "Help has arrived" said Lucas. Bartman looked outside. "The Powerpuff girls?!" Bartman questioned "what are they doing here?" Buttercup was driven back by an explosion and landed onto a cliff. A pork runner hovered ready to open fire. Young Link ran in front of her and blocked it with his mirror shield. The energy blast backfired destroying the pork runner.

After the fight was over, Toon Link and Mysterion caught up. "I think you dropped something" said Toon Link he turned and said "hey young Link long time no see" "you two know each other?" asked Blossom "there are two of you?" questioned bubbles. "I'm Link" answered young link "hero of time" "And I'm the hero of winds" said toon link "also known as Toon Link" "I thought you was just a legend" said Blossom "I'm as real as the ground in which we stand" "it was lucky you showed up when you did" said Mint-Berry Crunch. "No" said Lucas "it wasn't luck" "We telepathically summoned them" replied Ness "Anyway" Young Link asked "what's going on?"

After Blossom welded the wing back on, Lucas, and Ness began to explain. "Years ago" Ness started "Porky Minch was my best friend, until the aliens arrived. Their leader; known as Giygas who was once defeated by my father, came back to destroy the world. Porky betrayed me and joined Giygas. Luckily I and some newer friends defeated Giygas. Though Porky escaped using a time distorter, with it he has been time traveling for hundreds of years." "So how does this lead to him creating an army?" asked Bartman "as he was time traveling" said Ness "he brainwashed thousands of people from different time periods to form the pigmask army. He finaly stopped at the Nowhere islands" "Nowhere islands?" questioned Blossom "they're the islands in which I grew up on, though all that remains of it is New Pork City" Answered Lucas "he treated the islands like his toy box and turned the animals chimeras and cyborgs." "I encountered one" said Mysteroin. Lucas continued "one of which took the life of my mother" Lucas shed a tear after he said those words. "three years later, me, my dog and two other friends defeated him and his army. But now he seeks revenge. His city blasted off into space, which must be where they attacked us from." "So that's why they sabotaged the deep space monitoring network" Bartman exclaimed. "We have to stop them before it's too late" said Mysterion "it may already be too late." Replied Ness.

Meanwhile "This is Snapper Car reporting live from ground zero in South Park. General Wells, why can't our military stop the alien invasion?" "All our best missiles have been disarmed, and our self-proclaimed protector Mint-berry Crunch has abandoned us." Suddenly, the meteorite began to crumble and a large beam of light flashed where it was. Now there was a large metal fortress in place of the meteorite. At the top of the fortress was metal rod that was shooting bolts of lightning.

"What is that thing?" asked Toon Link "it's a thunder tower" answered Lucas "Don't you mean a lightning tower?" Blossom corrected "wait a minute" asked Blossom "what about the friends that helped you stop him in the first place" "they were captured and I don't know where they're being held" answered Ness. "We'll have to take out the thunder towers" Buttercup exclaimed. "This is no job for little girls" said Mysterion "You want a piece of me?" she said angrily. "There's no time for fighting ourselves." Said Mint-berry Crunch. "Kenny, we need all the help we can get" "fine" said Mysterion "we'll have to split into teams" "They've built a fortress around each tower" Stated Lucas "so it won't be as easy as before" "I call Bart's team" said Buttercup

Young Link and Buttercup were on their way to Townsville "your no fun" complained Buttercup "this isn't supposed to be fun" informed Young Link "we have a job to do and it will be done better without distractions, understood?" after getting there they examined the pig fortress. "There's our target" said Young Link "now here's the plan." "What plan?" said Buttercup "Let's kick their asses and get this over with." She flew over a pork trooper and taunted him "hey swine, come and get me" the pork trooper chased after her as she flew towards the fortress. Buttercup was caught in an energy field "Idiot" said Young Link. He attacked the pig masks surrounding her "I hope the other teams are having better luck than we are."

Bartman, Toon Link, Bubbles, Mysterion, Ness and Lucas were at Springfield. "We can't just hide like cowards!" complained Toon Link "the fortress is shielded, so our only option is to sneak in because there are no other openings" Said Mysterion. "Then we'll make our own" cheered Bubbles before flying out from the hiding spot "Bubbles…" "Wait!" said Mysterion, cutting off Ness "let's see what she can do" Bubbles lifted up a pork tank and threw it into the wall of the fortress. "Not bad" exclaimed Bartman.

Meanwhile in South Park. Blossom and Mint-berry Crunch tore their way into the pig fortress. Then they were spotted by pigmasks that were guarding the passage. "Stay back I'll…"before Mint-berry Crunch could finish his sentence, Blossom froze the pigmasks with her ice breath.

"Haven't you ever heard of teamwork?!" asked Young Link, freeing Buttercup. A pork tank detonated a grenade releasing a noxious gas putting out Young Link. Buttercup used her tornado attack to blow away the gass"Uh-oh" she said, picking up Young Link "gota run" and flew off.

Back at the fortress in South Park, Blossom and Mint-berry Crunch spotted another squad of pigmasks, this time they ran away as a blast door closed behind them. Mint-berry Crunch looked as another metal door closed behind him. They were traped. Noxious gas filled the room. "Hang on" said Mint-berry Crunch. But he was electrocuted as he tried to bust open the door.

"They keep blocking us off" exclaimed Toon Link. "Any ideas Ness?" asked Bartman. Ness had a worried look on his face. "Ness are ya there?!" "Blossom and Mint-berry Crunch have been captured" said Ness "Go" he shouted as another squad of pigmasks opened fire. Finally they outran them. "I think we lost em" said Toon Link "For the moment" said Bartman "Look" said Ness "this must be the power core" they looked around and saw mechanical wires connected to a machine holding an energy crystal. Lucas let out a sigh of relief "Glad there's no generator this time" "How can we shut it down?" asked Mysterion "if we remove that energy crystal" said Ness "it might shut down the whole fortress. I'll need a diversion" "got it" Said Toon Link. With that he used his boomerang to break an overhead pipe. Black oily gunk leaked onto the pigmasks below. Bubbles tore open another pipe. Smoke filled the room. As everyone else fought the pigmasks, Ness made his way to the energy crystal, just as he removed it, the machines were shut down. A pigmask got up and shot Ness. "Ness!" cried Bubbles "get him out!" shouted Mysterion "Now!" Bubbles picked up Ness and flew for the exit. A pigmask pressed a button on a control panel and the blast door began close. Bartman grabbed the crystal and ran for the door. Everyone made it except Bartman and Mysterion. Pigmasks surrounded then "Put the crystal down!" one of them shouted. Bartman threw the crystal back to the pigmasks, they pointed their guns back at the heroes. "No!" cried Bubbles as she heard the energy blasts. "Wait!" shouted Lucas "there's nothing more we can do for him" "you don't mean he's…" *sniff* "he's…" "Gone" said Lucas completing her thought. "Farore, help us" said Toon Link.

The whole town of South Park was in panic; glass was breaking, and cars were burning. Finaly, Buttercup, Young Link, and Mysterion met up with the team. "Sorry I was late" said Mysterion "I had to help civilians." "So what did ya call us back for?" asked Buttercup "Blossom and Mint-berry Crunch were captured and are somewhere inside that fortress" answered Toon Link "What about Bartman?" asked Mysterion "he acted heroically" said Lucas "to the very end" "Bart's really gone?!" shouted Buttercup "he was a true warrior" replied Toon Link.


End file.
